


Pò Fǔ Chén Zhōu

by OneBlueUmbrella (bigblueboxat221b)



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Baby Gay Patrick, David Rose is a Good Person, Episode: s03e10 Friends and Family, First Kiss, M/M, POV Patrick Brewer, Patrick Brewer is Gay, but he's still working through that
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-13
Updated: 2020-11-13
Packaged: 2021-03-10 06:08:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,371
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27539641
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bigblueboxat221b/pseuds/OneBlueUmbrella
Summary: Pò Fǔ Chén Zhōu - Years after his baseball coach had translated the Chinese idiom as, ‘Go for it!’, Patrick discovered it literally meant, ‘Break the cauldrons and sink the boats’. The colloquial translation would always stick with him after so many years of hearing it: No turning back.If Patrick had, in fact, called the electrician, what might have happened after the hug at the end of Friends & Family (ep 3.12)?
Relationships: Patrick Brewer/David Rose
Comments: 24
Kudos: 186





	Pò Fǔ Chén Zhōu

“We’re officially open,” Patrick said with a smile. For some reason he placed his drink on the counter and opened his arms, inviting David into a hug. Of course it made sense; the store was finally open, and this was the perfect opportunity for a hug, yet he could feel himself also wondering what the hell he was doing. He wasn’t a hugger, and he knew David wasn’t; he actively avoided touching his parents and sister as he’d explained one day in great length.

To Patrick’s surprise, as he moved closer and offered congratulations, David smiled, returning the congratulations and accepting the embrace. He braced for a quick hug-and-release, as most of his male friends would offer and expect in such circumstances; baseball being what it was, hugs were common but brief. David, it turned out, did not hug that way.

He stepped into Patrick, right in close; their bodies aligned from the waist up, settling close as they both patted each other on the back. When Patrick would have expected David to let him go, his hand came to a rest on Patrick’s back. It was warm through his shirt and undershirt; when he rubbed a slow circle, Patrick felt his breathing hitch at the familiar motion. He cursed his reaction, knowing there was no way David would have missed it, not with them occupying the same space.

_Fuck. I wish I hadn’t called the electrician in. If the lights flickered now it would be a perfect excuse to break this off. Which I absolutely should do._

Alas, Patrick’s sense of duty had called in the electrician, and the lights burned steadily as the congratulatory hug slowly melted into something different. He didn’t have a word for it, but David was definitely not trying to leave. He hadn’t relaxed, expecting Patrick to shift away; if anything their tiny movements had brought them into a closer embrace. Patrick could feel David’s breath on his neck, the shape of his cheek making him suspect David was smiling into the crook of his neck.

“I’m really glad that I decided to invest in your business, David.”

Patrick had no idea why he’d spoken the words right now. It was true, of course, but there was no need for him to murmur them here, his mouth closer to David’s ear than it really needed to be. While it might have sounded like a confirmation of their business partnership from across the store or even as a toast with the wine they’d opened to celebrate, here it felt like a confession. Secret words for David’s ears only.

Patrick felt David hum, the vibrations shuddering through his body before David eased back. His forearms were still resting on Patrick’s shoulders; Patrick found his hands on David’s waist. It took a second for Patrick to realise he was tilting his head up to meet David’s eyes. It took another second to realise why that was weird.

_Feels like we’re going to kiss. Not used to kissing someone taller than me._

Patrick’s eyes dropped of their own accord, tracing the shape of David’s mouth, his lips pulled up in the asymmetrical smile he so often offered. It faded, and Patrick flicked his gaze back up to meet David’s. It was serious, probing Patrick’s as though asking the question. Something flared in his belly and though it was familiar, it was far fiercer than Patrick remembered. He’d felt it when he first met David, when they decided to open the store together, as their eyes met amongst their customers… Why did this only happen with David? Patrick swallowed, terror chasing the desire as he realised what was happening.

_I want him to kiss me._

A gasp, and a stumbling step backward. For a second Patrick thought he might trip until he ran into the counter, bracing himself with one hand to stop his torso hitting the edge. He looked up, already feeling his lungs pulling hard as he met David’s eyes. He looked as shocked as Patrick, but not surprised. More…hurt? Patrick couldn’t get his brain working properly, not with the panic swirling around in there, and he turned, facing the storeroom, bracing against the counter, excruciatingly aware of David hovering behind him as he tried to calm his body.

Either David was familiar with this or he just froze but either way, Patrick was able to slow his racing pulse before David spoke.

“Are you…is there something wrong?”

The question was so awkward Patrick almost laughed. Instead when he opened his mouth, a torrent of words fell out, tumbling over each other. It was too much to stop, so he closed his eyes and hoped it made sense to David.

“I was engaged before I came here,” Patrick said, gripping his fingers into the bench. “We met in high school, and she was nice. I asked her to a dance and everyone assumed we were dating, and we just kind of…were. I never even proposed, we just agreed it was the next thing to do.” He tried to laugh but it was a sad, hiccough-y thing so he continued instead, hoping the words would hold tears at bay.

“But when it came to planning the wedding it was so wrong. So, so wrong, David. So I left. I left her, and I left my family, and I answered an ad in the paper from a tiny town, and I came here.”

Two deep breaths helped stem the dizziness, and he continued.

“You should feel happy when you’re getting married. Not…stifled. As though I couldn’t breathe, like my whole life was set out but it wasn’t my life, it was someone else’s.”

With all the strength he had, Patrick stood up and turned to face David. His eyebrows were wide, fingers twined together as he watched Patrick like someone expecting something to explode at any second.

“And then I met you,” Patrick said. Why were these words so much harder to get out? After that flood, and now he was forcing the words out. “I met you, and I was fascinated. I wanted to see you again, so I brought you your business licence, and I wanted to see you again so I dropped in. And your business plan was good, and I did want to invest, but I have to tell you David, it wasn’t just about the business.”

David’s mouth had dropped open and Patrick had no idea what his reaction was going to be so he pushed on, determined to get everything out now that he had started.

_Pò fǔ chén zhōu_ _._

Years after his baseball coach had translated the Chinese idiom as, ‘Go for it!’, Patrick discovered it literally meant, ‘Break the cauldrons and sink the boats’. The colloquial translation would always stick with him after so many years of hearing it.

_No turning back._

“I wanted to see you all the time. Find out what kind of coffee you like and why somethings are incorrect and what makes you smile. Ask you questions and watch your whole body explain. Help you realise your dream of this store.” He swallowed. “I’d never felt like that before. About anyone. And just then…” Patrick glanced closer to the door, where they’d stood a few moments ago, “it was…intense.”

David nodded, his lips tucked between his teeth as he thought.

“So all this was very new, then.”

“Yes,” Patrick replied. His heart was thumping a million miles a minute, but David seemed prepared to have some kind of conversation, so that was a good start. At least he wasn’t running for the hills or demanding Patrick leave his key on the counter on his way out.

“And right now, when you hugged me, that changed something,” David continued. He sounded cautiously curious.

Patrick nodded, summoned all his courage and said, “I thought you were going to kiss me. And I wanted you to.” He braced for David to react in the violent way he sometimes did to the unexpected, but he simply nodded, watching Patrick assessingly.

“And that’s part of the new,” David checked.

Patrick nodded. “I’ve never…,” he swallowed, “wanted to do that before.” He frowned. “I’ve never realised I wanted to do that before.”

“You mean with a guy,” David clarified.

“I mean like that. That much, it was like I craved it, I _needed_ it.” Patrick breathed deeply, the memory almost enough to drive his pulse up again. “I’ve been curious, or wanted the…I don’t know, the comfort of kissing someone, but never…never like that. Never so urgently. Never felt so pulled towards somebody in my life.”

David nodded again. Patrick could feel his cheeks burning from the honest words he was forcing out. This kind of conversation did not come naturally to him, but he couldn’t bluff his way out of what had just happened and if he was being real with himself, he didn’t want to. If he and David were going to be in business, this needed to be worked out. No matter how much he thought about it, tried to rationalise it away or pretend it wasn’t happening, it didn’t change anything. He couldn’t keep working with David until they’d cleared the air.

_Pò fǔ chén zhōu._

The effort behind David’s calm and even voice was audible when he spoke. “What you’re feeling is very normal. It sounds like you haven’t really had the chance to work out what you really want in your life until now.”

Patrick shook his head.

“And now that you have started to figure it out, it’s not what you thought it would be.”

Patrick shook his head again. How did David know what he was thinking? He wasn’t going to interrupt, not while David was neatly summarising all the worries that had kept him awake at night for so long.

David took a deep breath. “So can I ask, and there is no wrong answer here, is your concern because I’m a guy in general, or is it because I’m,” he waved one hand down his torso, “me?”

Patrick thought, wanting to get it right. Something behind David’s carefully modulated tone made Patrick wary. It was clear David had been rejected in the past – from someone who didn’t really know him, that much was obvious – and Patrick didn’t want to be that guy again. The truth was, he had no idea.

“You are nothing like I expected I would want,” he said finally. “I never really considered anyone different from the people I grew up around. Everyone in my town is nice. Conservative, they fit right in, you know?” He tried for a smile that slid immediately from his face. Christ, he hoped David wasn’t offended by that.

“Nothing like me,” David said quietly.

“Nothing like you,” Patrick agreed. He took a deep breath. After so much of himself laid out, why did this still feel like a risk? “But what scares me is how _much_ I want what I want. It’s very much about you, David, but not in a bad way.”

David nodded. Patrick hoped he understood what he was trying to say.

“I just don’t know what to do with this. I don’t know how to…” he trailed off, frustrated at his lack of capacity to explain this.

“It sounds like you’ve been trying to figure it out for a while,” David said carefully.

“You could say that,” Patrick said wryly, and he and David exchanged a brief smile.

“Well as someone with extensive experience overthinking things,” David said, “I would suggest you get out of your head and do something.”

“Do something? “ Patrick repeated. He made it sound so obvious, how did Patrick not have any idea what he meant?

“Talk to someone, go someplace different, try something and see if it’s for you.” David’s whole body language was empathy, from his soft eyes to the way his head tilted to one side. “Because there comes a point where you’re just going round and round in your head and you never get anywhere.”

Patrick blinked at him.

_Jesus, he’s good._

“Okay?” Patrick asked. He waited for David to continue.

“Well, I have suggestions, if you like,” David said.

“If you want to work out if it’s me, or guys in general, there’s a club in Toronto,” David began. Patrick felt his eyes widen in shock. David was watching closely, and he obviously understood.

“Okay, not wanting to experiment,” David said hastily.

“I’m sure it’s you,” Patrick said, his words quiet. “I mean, what I feel around you…it’s not the same as anyone else.”

David nodded.

“Another option is we just, like, pretend this didn’t happen, and you can work through your stuff.”

Patrick nodded, waiting for the next suggestion, recognising David wanting to offer him an out. He clenched his jaw, determined not to make a sound.

_Pò fǔ chén zhōu._

David took a deep breath. “Before I give you the next option, I need to be clear that did not think you were interested in me at all. And with you being my business partner, I know that could be very awkward, so I may have talked myself out of being interested.”

It was Patrick’s turn to nod, waiting for David to continue, ignoring the excited voice in his head that reminded him it sounded an awful lot like David had been interested in him at some point.

“Having said that, if you wanted to try something…I mean if you wanted to….kiss me, I mean, I wouldn’t mind. I mean, it would be fine, and if it wasn’t right or whatever, we could just…forget it.” David’s face was flaming and he was trying to both avoid Patrick’s eyes and check how he was reacting.

It was adorable.

Patrick looked at him for a long time, weighing up the pros and cons of the plan. It was the one that made most sense in his brain, yet it carried the most risks.

_Pò fǔ chén zhōu._

“Are you sure?” he said quietly.

David nodded. They didn’t move for several seconds, eyes drifting over each other’s faces in a more intimate dance than Patrick could remember. Why did it feel like that when they weren’t even touching?

His eyes settled on David’s mouth, that lush pout about which he’d been dreaming for weeks now, and he swallowed, the fear rising in his throat again. David had already given permission, so he knew he was only fighting himself. What did this mean about him? That he wanted to kiss David, that was a given, but it wasn’t concrete. While it was still in his head Patrick could suppress it. Now it was out, hanging in the air like the expectation before a storm. Kissing David, kissing him and liking it – there was no suppressing that. No suppressing what that mean about himself. Was he ready to see his true self?

Patrick blinked as David eased closer. “Do you want me to kiss you?” David asked quietly.

Patrick shook his head. “I want to do it,” he whispered, gathering all the courage he could find.

David nodded, standing still, his arms by his sides.

Patient.

Patrick could feel his hands trembling, arms heavy as he stepped right into David’s space, his eyes locked on David’s mouth. He raised one hand, cupping David’s jaw, the rasp of his almost-beard sending sparks up Patrick’s arm. How did that feel so right? How had he not realised its absence in the past? Patrick didn’t let himself think about it too much. Instead he concentrated on not missing David’s mouth, so when their lips finally brushed, then settled, he was hardly prepared.

_Oh._

Oh, this was what people were talking about.

Kissing had always been comforting, but never with the fireworks Patrick saw in media or heard people talk about. It had been soft, and nice, and a bit wet.

But this was different.

It was more than soft, and nice, and a bit wet.

David’s mouth _was_ soft, and he kissed Patrick back; the stroke of his lips felt like home in a way he didn’t even know was possible. They were the right shape, and the roughness at the edges of his lips scraped in just the right way. Nice wasn’t even close, though. His skin tingled in waves, and belatedly Patrick realised he had literally never had a kiss that affected him like this. Was this because of David? Had Patrick just been waiting for the right person all along? As he eased back, Patrick realised his biggest concern didn’t even matter. Whether he could be into guys in general or not, David was the only person to ever make him feel like this, and he wanted more of this, specifically. More of David.

_Why would I be afraid of that?_

The kiss was short, and chaste as far as things went, but Patrick had to force himself to let David ease back from him.

“Well?” David asked quietly. His hands still rested on Patrick’s shoulders and the tiny circles he was rubbing were grounding. Patrick wondered if he knew he was doing that.

“That…” Patrick cleared his throat. “That was like…it was like the first time. Like all the things they say a first kiss is like.” He started trembling. “I didn’t know it could be like that.”

David nodded, his eyes still carefully roaming over Patrick’s face. He didn’t say anything for long enough Patrick started to get worried. Was he maybe not interested now? Christ, they hadn’t actually cleared that up at all.

“You said you talked yourself out of being interested,” Patrick said. “Where do you stand on that?”

David swallowed. “I think you changed my mind,” he said, his voice catching on the last word.

“Oh,” Patrick said. Without thinking, he leaned in again, kissing David, chasing that sensation. He could feel David’s shock in the second it took him to catch up but soon his arms wrapped around Patrick’s shoulders, and they swayed together, their lips stroking slowly over and over until Patrick’s whole face was alight with tingling.

“I don’t want to presume,” David murmured, when their kisses broke and they stood, foreheads touching, bodies pressed together, “but I think…where did that stand for you?”

“More right than I ever remember,” Patrick said, hearing the emotion thicken his voice.

David nodded. Patrick could see the start of a smile, but David’s voice was serious when he asked, “And do you think that’s…me?”

“Yeah,” Patrick whispered. “I think it’s you. It’s very specifically you, David Rose.”

David’s inhalation was shaky, and this time he kissed Patrick, a hard press that did not relent until Patrick was breathless.

“Thank you,” David said finally.

“Why are you thanking me?” Patrick said. It was hard to think clearly, now that so much was in his head, but it was a good disorientation. He could share it with David now. Explore it with him.

“You were the brave one,” David told him. “I would never have thought you might…” he swallowed, his insecurity flashing through.

Patrick felt his heart constrict and he allowed himself to put a name to what happened when David showed vulnerability. _Affection._

“Yeah, we’ll work on that,” Patrick said with a small smile. “And I think I need to…I mean, I want to take things slow. I need to figure out some stuff.” He could see David nodding, the smile fading and Patrick knew him well enough now to recognise that expression.

“Regrets already?” David said, the joke falling flat immediately.

Patrick stiffened, then tightened his hands on David’s waist. “No,” he said firmly, but David’s eyes barely touched his before they skittered away.

“Hey,” Patrick said, ducking his head until David couldn’t avoid his eyes, “Thank you, David.”

“For what?” David asked, surprised enough to look at David properly again.

“For making this,” Patrick dropped a quick kiss on David’s mouth, resisting the almost overwhelming urge to linger, “one less thing I need to figure out.”

“Oh,” David breathed. His smile grew again and this time when Patrick leaned in to kiss him, David made a very convincing argument for him to stay.

**Author's Note:**

> Come say hi on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/OneBlueUmbrella) or [Tumblr](https://oneblueumbrella.tumblr.com/).


End file.
